by Sridhar Pingali

Sridhar Pingali was a graduate student in computer science at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and an experienced practitioner in the Theravada tradition. He posted regularly to soc.religion.eastern in May 1991 during a sustained group conversation about the nature of mind, self, and awakening.

This post is Pingali's clearest and most sustained presentation of the insight-meditation view: not only thoughts but consciousness itself is impermanent and empty. Against the Vedantic position (held by John Wheeler on the same group) that awareness is a non-objective substratum that does not arise or pass away, Pingali insists that everything — including the knowing — arises and falls. The path requires sustained effort, not intellectual assent to any theory of inherent freedom.

The closing lines on Ramana Maharshi are a graceful acknowledgment: the grace of the teacher is real, but nobody can give you what only practice can win.

There is the experience of thoughts arising and passing away and there is the question "Who is the knower?" There is no "knower." There is only "knowing." Thoughts are transient and fleeting — that is a fact. That fact can only be seen with awareness — mindfulness. But meditation does not end there. Not only are thoughts transient and fleeting — consciousness itself is fleeting and transient. It is also an empty phenomenon that arises and passes away.

Buddhist meditation masters speak of this as a real turning point in practice. Everything that arises is impermanent and is falling away. There is then no resting place at all — there is nothing to be grasped, no security even in awareness. Only when all the foundations of a belief in an abiding self have been undermined are we left with the wisdom of insecurity. There is complete protection and freedom because there is no one to be protected. When Buddhists say "anatman" — they mean just that.

The reason we speak of thoughts is that the mind gets attached to thoughts so easily — they can very quickly overwhelm us. Freedom comes from the seeing of the truth, not from doing anything or trying to manipulate the mind into a different state. The power of the mind states of anger, fear, lust etc. is such that we can actually feel the movement towards strong attachment when they arise.

The Buddha was not satisfied with the exalted states of meditation that he attained while studying with Alara Kalama and Uddaka Ramaputta — because after all that, his mind was still subject to defilements. Those states did not represent complete freedom. His aim was to attain total, completely unconditioned freedom. A billion eons of bliss is not enough. The Buddha asked whether greed, hatred and delusion can be utterly uprooted from the mind. We too should be asking the same question.

All kinds of transcendental experiences are possible in meditation — rivers of light and floods of love, states of grace, oneness and bliss. But are these states permanent? Is there total freedom from all craving and all defilements now, now, now? We can believe whatever we want to — that we are always free, in a Self, in Atman equals Brahman, in theories about anatman, etc. — but of what use are these beliefs? Anybody who sits on a zafu long enough has insights. This is not enough either. We have to get rid of all our karmic gunk. For this we really need to go deep within ourselves and become completely transparent. All this requires great effort, sustained mindfulness, and continuous practice.

None of this is to deny the blessings that come from practising under an enlightened being. Innumerable people who have had the great good fortune to come into the presence of Bhagawan Sri Ramana Maharshi have testified to this fact. That is the greatest aid that one could have on the path. But even so — nobody can give you freedom. If the Buddhas could set us free, I imagine they would have done so already. Buddha Dharma doesn't have much to say about any underlying, undifferentiated oneness — Shakyamuni Buddha's Enlightenment 2500 years ago is not taking away our pain right here, right now. It is up to us to practise or not.

Colophon

Written by Sridhar Pingali ([email protected]) at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and posted to soc.religion.eastern on 17 May 1991 under the subject "Thought, practice..." Pingali was a computer science graduate student and practitioner in the Theravada tradition.

Preserved from the UTZOO Usenet Archive (University of Toronto, shiftleft.com mirror) for the Good Work Library by the New Tianmu Anglican Church, 2026. Original Message-ID: [email protected].

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